Learning to Feel: One Man’s Path of Reconnecting to the Heart of Emotions

“Untangling the webs of illusion and interpretations feels cleaner – less messy – somehow. Knowing what my feelings and thoughts are, I can better see or hear what another person is experiencing. None of us will ever ‘know’ what the other person is feeling – fully. We must ask, listen, and believe their report – even when or if we believe that they are not aware of their emotions or not aware of what is causing them to act and feel a certain way. Only when we give them agency and credibility are we able to engage with them in any kind of emotionally intelligent way.”
– excerpt from Learning to Feel

From the moment we are born, we as humans are blessed with emotions. We feel joy and love, and with that comes fear, sadness and grief. In all honesty, though, those are overly simplified labels for our feelings. Under the surface, our emotional experience is far more complex and personal to our own lives.

Kris Girrell, with his background in theology and psychology is trained to be aware of the plentiful and complex emotions humanity is capable of, so imagine his surprise when his wife suggested that he was not fully emotionally intelligent and had further to go. He had gone to therapy, he had done the work to try to understand his own psychology, so what was missing?

This set Girrell off on a quest into his deepest, most hidden emotional core. He sought to not only discover what defines emotional intelligence, but also to deepend and develop his own emotional experience.

His goal with this book is, firstly, to share his insights into what he has learned on his journey. Secondly, he hopes to enable readers to unblock their own emotions by sharing tools that have worked for him.

It is his firm belief that the benefits of greater emotional intelligence expand ever outward – understanding yourself better can help you better approach any and all relationships with those around you.

I am lying here with the book still open on my chest, tears rolling down my cheeks, flooded with emotion because someone has finally written my life story.

Dr. Stacy Feiner, business psychologist Kris Girrell is an executive leadership coach and author with a background in psychology and theology. He is currently the proud father of three outstanding adult children and lives in Andover, MA with his wife and partner of three decades, Sarah. Over the years, his work has taken him across the globe. He has led lectures and coached clients in the Americas, Europe, Africa and Asia.

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